"Black Men Don't Like Natural Hair!"

 

Whenever Black women try and have a meaningful discussion about the importance of learning to love our natural hair, the conversation is constantly interrupted with pointless statements such as: “But Black men don’t like natural hair!” “Black men only like natural hair when it’s 3C!” “Black men hate 4C hair!” I am going to say this as nicely as I can. Who gives a damn? Why should I give a damn? Why do you give a damn? Why does anyone give a damn? It is 2024. I do not care if Black men like natural hair or not. There is no law in place that says Black males must adore my beautiful coils. Point blank. The hairstyles that Black men admire are none of my concern and they should be irrelevant to any and all Black woman as well. 

I have grown extremely exhausted of Black male-identified women interrupting the valuable conversations Black women are attempting to have about our unique and beautiful features. The pointless whining and crying about the “lack of Black male attention” one receives when wearing their natural hair in public has gotten old. Black male attention is not more important than raising awareness about the carcinogenic ingredients in relaxers, addressing the rise in traction alopecia among wig-wearing Black women, and making sure we do not raise another generation of Black girls with self-hatred. You should not want attention from someone who does not absolutely adore you in your natural state. This should be common sense, but too many Black women dedicate their entire lives to a group of males, who, on a fundamental level, do not like them and have spent decades making that perfectly clear. 

I need Black women to understand that who does or does not like your natural hair is none of your business. Apply this mindset/mentality to your skin tone, body type, and fashion aesthetic as well. Stop acknowledging that one person who hates you while ignoring the ones that truly love you. I suspect that Black women who make statements such as: “Black men hate natural hair!” have fallen victim to the lies Black men like to spew about hating weaves. They are probably confused when they see these same Black males online thirsting after nonBlack women proudly flaunting their hair extensions, BBL's, and boob jobs. Let me let you in on a little secret. Black men do not hate weaves. They never have and never will, but we have already established this point a thousand times. Black men hate that Black women’s natural hair does not naturally look like the straight textured weave not the weave itself. Like many self-hating Black women, Black men also covet straight hair, but like I said before, what Black males prefer is none of our concern. 

The opinions Black men hold about natural hair should be meaningless to every single Black woman walking on this planet. Getting attention or praise from Black men should not be a single reason why you, as a Black woman, chooses to embrace your beautiful afro-textured hair. I view Black women learning to appreciate the beauty of their natural hair as a part of divestment. Divestment, for me, is about Black women removing themselves from the cult that masquerades as the “Black community”.  

To truly respect and adore the hair that grows out your scalp is to reach Black female nirvana. This nirvana is sometimes referred to as ‘divestment’. You cannot truly be divested if you are preoccupied with how your hair looks 24/7. Despite what many Black women say, natural hair perfectly fits into the soft life many of us dream of having. However, it is imperative that Black women decenter Black men while on their natural hair journey. Remember, when it comes to Black women specifically, the goal post will always be moving. Ignore all males. Ignore their thoughts. Ignore their opinions. Ignore their suggestions. Once you let go of the expectations the Black community holds for Black women when it comes to our hair, your path to living a carefree life becomes crystal clear.